My every sense, member, faculty, affection,
is a snare to me,
I can scarce open my eyes but I envy those above me,
or despise those below.
I covet honour and riches of the mighty,
and am proud and unmerciful to the rags
If I behold beauty it is a bait to lust,
or see deformity, it stirs up loathing and disdain;
How soon do slanders, vain jests, and wanton
speeches creep into my heart!
Am I comely? what fuel for pride!
Am I deformed? what an occasion for repining!
Am I gifted? I lust after applause!
Am I unlearned? how I despise what I have not!
Am I in authority? how prone to abuse my trust,
make will my law, exclude others’ enjoyments,
serve my own interests and policy!
Am I inferior? how much I grudge others’ pre-eminence!
Am I rich? how exalted I become!
Thou knowest that all these are snares by my corruptions,
and that my greatest snare is myself.
I bewail that my apprehensions are dull,
my thoughts mean,
my affections stupid,
my expressions low,
my life unbeseeming;
Yet what canst thou expect of dust but levity,
of corruption but defilement?
Keep me ever mindful of my natural state,
but let me not forget my heavenly title,
or the grace that can deal with every sin.
(from The Valley Of Vision. HT: Reuben Hunter)
Is this your work??? Or from who you referenced below…(The Valley of Vision. Reuben Hunter)? Apologies for the dumb question. New to a lot of this.
Either way it’s exceedingly and wildly resplendent. Possibly maddening enough that I considered blowtorching my journals…briefly. And then I was ablaze with furious gratitude at almighty God’s ability to pour His Spirit through the quill of another child of His to bless me, to remind me, I am not the only one who is at war with myself. Paul declares it best in Romans 7:14-25.
“For we know that the law is spiritual: but I am carnal, sold under sin. For that which I do I allow not: for what I would, that do I not; but what I hate, that do I.
If then I do that which I would not, I consent unto the law that it is good.
Now then it is no more I that do it, but sin that dwelleth in me.
For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh,) dwelleth no good thing: for to will is present with me; but how to perform that which is good I find not.
For the good that I would I do not: but the evil which I would not, that I do.
Now if I do that I would not, it is no more I that do it, but sin that dwelleth in me.
I find then a law, that, when I would do good, evil is present with me.
For I delight in the law of God after the inward man:
But I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members.
O wretched man that I am! who shall deliver me from the body of this death?
I thank God through Jesus Christ our Lord. So then with the mind I myself serve the law of God; but with the flesh the law of sin.”
Love & Light in Christ,
It’s from here, C:
Thanks so much for sharing this collection! And for not being the author who penned that piece! KIDDING. Seriously kidding. Sort of. 😉
If I had written it, couldn’t you just have been happy for me? 🙂
I was going to reply, no, I couldn’t just be happy for you! But I think my sense of humor may have already misfired. Sooooo…yes Barry, it would have delighted me to no end, had it been you! The C is for Candice, by the way. My signature is lazy.
No, I laughed. I definitely laughed 🙂 Candice, how did you come across the blog?
I was the not so smart person who posted on the discipleship piece on 9 marks and asked for it not to be approved. The comment was brutally honest but severely lacking wisdom in its timing. Or I just got scared. Ugh. Fear. Double ugh if I allowed that to happen.
That deleted post now has mythical status, like Atlantis or Prince’s Black Album. I’m fairly desperate to see it at this point.
Ha! Prince’s Black Album! Now that’s hilarious. I’m furious with myself for not saving it for a rainy day. It’s gone. Urban legend status. Still laughing at Prince’s Black Album. Epic!
Never mind that, what about your post? Pretty sure even Prince wants to see it now.
I deleted it! Didn’t save the post. Wasn’t referring to saving Prince’s album. Have a great rest of the day. Here’s something I jumbled together. Poorly and clumsily written but you get the gist. You should have fair opportunity to throw rocks with everyone else in the nonjudgmental world of Christianity or perhaps keep them in your pocket. Testing time! http://en.gravatar.com/resurrecteddreams
I already read it. And I thought it was a stunning testimony of God’s grace. As it works out, I’m prepping a study on Ephesians 2 for tonight. Reading your experience was like seeing that chapter spring into life. Beautiful.
Psalm 126. Get to prepping the Ephesians 2 study. It was nice “commenting” with you. G-night.